Sports

Lance Armstrong Once Had the Most Hilariously Awkward ‘Cards Against Humanity’ Moment

If you’ve ever played “Cards Against Humanity,” you know it’s not a game for shy folks or for those who are easily offended. And as we’ve all been reminded of recently, Lance Armstrong isn’t a shy person. Just watch the first two minutes of the ESPN documentary, Lance, and you’ll realize that the former seven-time Tour de France winner is the perfect type of player for the “party game for horrible people,” which he’s obviously a fan of as he once tweeted out the most hilariously awkward moment while playing.

Lance Armstrong had a testicle removed during his bout with cancer

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On October 1, 1996, Lance Armstrong thought he was on top of the world. He was one of the top cyclists in the world, seemingly destined for greatness. He was just 25 years old with his whole future in front of him. He had fame. He had money. He had just moved into a $1 million/5,000-square-foot home on Lake Austin. And, most importantly, he had his health. But that all changed the following day when he was diagnosed with testicular cancer, cancer that had spread to his lungs, brain, abdomen, and lymph nodes. The day after his original diagnosis, he had a testicle removed. Weeks later, he underwent brain surgery. Death seemed to be imminent.

But somehow, against all odds, Lance Armstrong beat all of it. Love him or hate him for the cheating scandal, Armstrong is a true survivor and used his platform to raise awareness on testicular cancer, a topic that many men were once afraid to discuss. Not Lance. He embraced it and actually had zero problem making fun of himself.

He’s always had a great sense of humor about it

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While the majority of men would likely be embarrassed about having one testicle, Lance Armstrong is the exact opposite. He’s constantly joked about it in interviews over the years and embraces it as a reminder to what he’s gone through.

Years ago, Armstrong opened a bike shop in Austin, Texas, and called it Mellow Johnny’s, a play on the phrase “maillot jaune,” which is French for “yellow jersey.” As those who know cycling are aware, the leader of the Tour de France wears a yellow jersey. Inside the store is a coffee shop, which Armstrong calls the Juan Pelota Cafe.

While that might not sound funny if you don’t know what it means, you can’t help but laugh when you find out that he named it that because “Juan” is a homophone to “One” and “Pelota” is the Spanish word for “Ball.” So Lance Armstrong owns the One Ball Cafe. Sorry, that’s just hysterical and good for him for having such a great sense of humor about it. But what might be even funnier is the moment Lance Armstrong had during a game of “Cards Against Humanity” back in 2014.

Lance Armstrong had a hilariously awkward moment playing ‘Cards Against Humanity’

For those who have never played “Cards Against Humanity,” it’s essentially the vulgar version of “Apples to Apples.” Players are given white answer cards to match up with black question cards and the player who puts down the black card then has to choose which answer he/she likes best. Trust me, it’s an absolute riot and often leads to some of the best game nights you’ll ever have, as long as you’re not overly sensitive on certain things, which Lance Armstrong obviously isn’t as he pulled this gem in 2014.

Oh, to be a fly on the wall in that room when Lance Armstrong himself pulled the “Lance Armstrong’s missing testicle” card. Now that’s just great stuff there.