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You can tell the PGA Tour has entered its “we’ve stopped playing until after the holidays and understand that no one cares” phase of the schedule when Bryson DeChambeau, who has scarcely played since the Ryder Cup, makes news for something he did and didn’t do.

DeChambeau, in a move not at all out of character for him, has called attention to himself again for reasons that perhaps only he understands.

Bryson DeChambeau transformed his body

Bryson DeChambeau warms up before the second round of the Hero World Challenge on Dec. 3, 2021 in Nassau, Bahamas. | Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images
Bryson DeChambeau warms up before the second round of the Hero World Challenge on Dec. 3, 2021 in Nassau, Bahamas. | Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

Bryson DeChambeau was the talk of the PGA Tour in early 2020 until the pandemic. Coming off a winless 2019, he showed up looking considerably more muscular, and the new physique translated into significant extra distance off the tee.

Naturally, there was speculation that the transformation was the result of something untoward. The volume of the chatter picked up when DeChambeau tied for fifth at The Genesis Invitational, finished as the runner-up at WGC-Mexico, and placed fourth at the Arnold Palmer Invitational. He figured to be a threat the following week at The Players Championship, but COVID-19 wiped out that event and nearly three months of the schedule.

The real source of DeChambeau’s physical changes was a combination of diet and training. As those details emerged during the hiatus and then the resumption of the season, the steroids talk all but died by the time he captured the U.S. Open on the final weekend of the summer. Fans largely forgot the subject throughout 2021 as DeChambeau’s feud with Brooks Koepka took center stage.

Bryson DeChambeau’s ‘I’m not a doper’ YouTube video is a little bit dopey

Eight-time PGA Tour tournament winner Bryson DeChambeau has become an attraction for galleries wowed by his booming drives off the tee. He’s further fueled that interest with videos touting his diet and training regimen. And, of course, there’s plenty of footage of him hitting those booming tee shots.

DeChambeau’s latest video, posted to YouTube on Monday, is decidedly unconventional. Apparently feeling the need to defend himself from innuendo once again despite there not being any more than the usual noise out there, the golfer used the six-minute video to tell the world he underwent voluntary testing for steroids and other PEDs.

Not surprisingly, the results came back negative for amphetamine, methamphetamine, anabolic steroids, and masking agents. After all, would he be uploading a video saying otherwise?

“All negative,” DeChambeau proudly proclaimed as the camera scrolled the lab report.

Given that, as Golf Digest notes, there’s never been a credible accusation against him or discipline by the PGA Tour, the whole idea of DeChambeau proving to the public that he isn’t a product of doping is, well, dopey.

The PGA Tour star’s video was all for show

It would have been much simpler for Bryson DeChambeau to speak to reporters or just tweet out the results of the PED testing done at a Quest Diagnostics lab. But that would have had no lasting effect. It wouldn’t have even survived the 24-hour news cycle.

Instead, the world has one more slickly produced video to watch on YouTube. And it’s no ordinary video, either. Rather, it opens with old news footage of Peyton Manning and Lance Armstrong facing steroid allegations, a gratuitous inclusion. DeChambeau the announces he would be submitting bloodwork to be checked. The video contains no footage of the blood draw or any other testing, purportedly for legal purposes.

Next, viewers get to see about three minutes of DeChambeau blasting balls off a tee in an indoor setting. Finally, he reads the Quest email message revealing the test results.

The clip ends with DeChambeau joining Greg Roskopf to announce that his trainer’s method is “better than steroids.”

Great. Now, where’s YouTube storing those videos of Labrador Retriever puppies or cats stuck in trees that we were looking for in the first place?

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Getting Bryson DeChambeau to Speak Is Tougher for the PGA Tour Than Muzzling Obnoxious Fans